If your pet’s issues are too much for you, reach out!

The theme of reaching out for help isn’t new for me, I mention it a lot, but this time I’m speaking from very recent experience.

Sometimes things don’t go how you want them to.

If you remember in my last post, I’d just been introducing our new rescue cat Caspian to the other cats and things were going really well.
Actually, it looked like the ‘perfect’ introduction and I was chuffed about it.
Unfortunately, things deteriorated once he’d been here for a couple of weeks. He started bullying Baby (my youngest cat) and, long story short, it just didn’t work out and last Friday, we returned him to his foster home in Dublin.

 At first when the bullying started, I was confident that I could sort it out myself, especially as I work energetically with animals. Well, I was mistaken. I hadn’t bargained for how much the situation would upset and trigger me (it’s not easy watching the kitten you raised being attacked and becoming nervous and withdrawn, nor is it easy trying not to judge the newcomer whilst also trying to keep peace and improve the situation).
 In hindsight, I wish I’d reached out for help earlier, although things did deteriorate quickly. Of course, I did all I can and I used my tools as well at insights from cat psychology but … sometimes things aren’t resolvable and I wasn’t able to see that at first and kept trying to ‘sort it out’.

When you’re triggered it’s hard to ‘sort things out’

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Here’s the thing, I wasn’t in the best place emotionally to ‘sort it out’. I’d underestimated how hard it was to stay present. Have you ever been in that situation? Where things start to spiral out of control, where you get confused and upset and it just feels like a nightmare. Where you think you’re making progress and then everything goes ‘wrong’ again.
It’s very hard NOT to react to that. It’s also challenging not to let it spin out of proportion in your mind.
That’s where reaching out is vital. I was spinning around in my own thoughts, fighting off self judgement and feeling, quite frankly lost about what to do. By reaching out and speaking to somebody, I was able to see this, to realize that I wasn’t coping well and then I got help in finding the best ways for me to ‘come back’ to myself, so I could move forward with more ease and clarity.
 (I shared a great exercise that I used to help me be more present in last week’s Thought Gardener blog, click here to read it).

Don’t blame yourself if you fall apart … but know it’s avoidable.

Please know that it’s ok if that happens to you, if you kinda fall to pieces under the pressure of seeing things fall apart. It can happen when our pets are ill and when their health deteriorates as well as stressful situations like I’ve just been through. We’re human and stuff gets to us, all of us. Yet, the extreme levels of stress that we can put ourselves through ARE avoidable (and changeable).

When we’re stressed, we’re not functioning at our best and it’s harder to make clear decisions. For example, even after reaching out to one person, I still felt very wary about trying to re-introduce the cats again. Every time I thought of it, I felt really nervous. Yet, I didn’t know whether that was just me being anxious, or me picking up on the cat’s energies, or what it was about. I’d clear it (using EFT) but it would just come back. So, I checked in with someone else who works with animals, to get a new perspective, as I know that when I’m stressed, I’m less ‘tuned in‘ than normal.

That was enormously helpful and confirmed a lot about of what I’d been picking up energetically about the situation. It was helpful for me to understand that some of my reactions were partially me picking up on their energy. It also enabled me to make the decision to return Caspian, as the situation just wasn’t working out for us and I didn’t trust that he could change his ways (and I finally allowed myself to trust my instincts on that, rather than ‘trying’ to make things right).

This is why we get help.

Without getting help, I’d have spent much longer upset, living with growing stress about separating the cats, finding it hard to make a decision and putting up with a chaotic situation. Now, after reaching out (and note that I reached out to more than one person, one person to help me rebalance and one to help me understand my pet’s perspectives) I quickly rebalanced, got clear and took action.

 Now, my household is peaceful again, Baby is starting to return to her normal sparky self again (she even makes a quick appearance in this week’s video).



What help do you require?



As I say in this week’s video, always consult your veterinarian as a first port of call if your pet has health issues. Then look at what extra support you require, for both you and them (remember that if you’re really stressed, it’s harder to be present for them, so acknowledge when you could do with some help, even if it’s just a talk with a good friend who understands what you’re going for). Get some energy balancing for your pet from someone like me, or acupuncture or whatever they require. 

Having gone through the stress of my recent situation, it reminds me all the more, why I do this work, why I help both pets and their people through stressful and upsetting times. Know that I’m here if you need me. There is always help available to you, from me and others like me.

Video: Thoughts on reaching out for help.

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