Normally in my posts I share my insights and tips about pet healing and pet loss. Today’s blog post is a little different. Today I’m asking you to share your stories, specifically about pet loss and the grief of pet bereavement.
Why am I asking about your pet loss story?
When providing pet loss support, it’s important for me be aware of where people like you struggle the most after your beloved pets dies or is no longer in your life. Your struggles matter. The more I know about what was hardest for you, the more I can shape the support I offer to help people like you to cope with those parts of the grieving process with less distress in the future.
I’d like you to have the tools to help you through your grief.
You, as a pet lover who gave everything for your furred friend and you deserve to have the best possible support when you have to navigate the harshness of no longer having their physical presence in your life.
After losing 2 of my 3 cats last year, I don’t know how I would have coped without the tools I have to support myself.
Those tools helped me navigate my waves of grief, so they didn’t overwhelm me.
They helped me remember the love and joy I shared with Leo and Elvie and use that to reduce the intensity of the grief and the sense of emptiness once they’d gone.
They’ve also helped me help to have more ease when a sudden pang of missing them washes over me, like it did last weekend, on the first really sunny day of the year when I thought of how they’d usually be soaking up that Spring sun in their favourite spots in the garden.
When I tell people that I do this work, often a tear comes to their eyes as they remember their past pets. Sometimes there is still a lot of unresolved pain. It doesn’t have to be that way. I see how the tools I use help people to gently move forward, beyond that pain.
I feel that my pet loss support services are also in some way my gift to those departed pets, as I know they wouldn’t want to see their sweet people get lost in their grief or dwell in it for too long. Thus, I’m in the process of creating a new pet loss resource so more people can access the tools and techniques that I use personally and with my clients.
Our stories can help others.
There can be great comfort in knowing that we are not alone in the intense grief we feel after a pet dies. Whilst some people just don’t understand it, hearing stories from those who have experienced it and navigated through it can help inspire others who are still in pain. It shows them there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Our stories also show where we found different ways to cope, so I’m also interested in finding out what advice or support has helped you through your grieving process. To gather this information I’m conducting a survey where I ask you to share your stories and experiences and I ask you a few questions. I explain more about this in the video below.
Over to you
Here’s your chance to get your story heard and to participate in my survey.
I would be very grateful and appreciative if you’d be part of it and help shape my future resources for everyone.
Click the link below to answer the 10 question survey now.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GT2D6JV
Alternatively, you can email me privately at ferris@ferrisjay.com or leave me a comment below.
Many thanks,
Ferris.
Ferris what valuable work you do in the world.
I grew up with dogs and when I got married and had my own children there has always been at least one dog in our house. We started with George and Larry – 2 brothers from the same litter who were like our first ‘fur babies’ together.
Sadly we lost Larry first and then George later who really had just grown old and tired. We had to take him to the vet which is one of the hardest things my husband and I have ever had to do and it was a truly gut wrenching and traumatic experience.
We now have Charlie who is like our 3rd child. Our last son has just recently moved away for his first full time job out of university so Charlie is our only ‘baby’ left at home and he is not a spring chicken anymore himself – he will be 13 this year.
I keep telling Charlie that he will need to live til he’s 20 so my husband and I have someone to look after ;). I’m a very spiritual person so death is something that I don’t fret about much at all, but it is hard to see an innocent animal get sick and pass away.
Hi Clare, thank you so much for sharing your story. I hear time and time again how hard it is when we have to make the final decision (euthanisia) for our pets. It can be tough, but sometimes it can be the greatest kindness we can offer them.
May you have many years enjoying Charlie’s companionship. I’m sure he’ll keep the house alive with fun energy now your son has moved away.
When a pet passes away is one thing but when you have to give it away because of financial reasons then it hurts the most of all. Some years ago, I could not afford have my lab at home anymore so I have to give her to a relative to take her in their house. That painful disconnection from the dog was hurting me for a couple years down the line. Thank you for your insight and for all your help!
Zaria
That is a really hard thing to have to do and is a very challenging form of loss indeed. Even when we’re in a situation like that where we can’t see any other choice, and we know that our pet will be looked after, it is very hard to accept the situation and it can be a challenge to reach out for support. It’s understandable that it took a few years for the hurt to subside.
I like to think that our pets are understanding in such situations, they are such loving beings.
If you have any unresolved emotions about that event, the EFT tapping could help, even now, years later e.g. it can help you to let go of any guilt about having to re-home them elsewhere.
I have a tap along video for that here https://youtu.be/aDyqu7ALVhQ and many others on my YouTube channel.