Are you hiding your feelings from your pet?
If you are, you’re probably doing it to shield them from your negative feelings, right?
This may seem like a good idea but it often isn’t. I do understand why people do it, and my own advice may even inadvertantly lead people to do so.
Let me explain. I often tell people that their pets really pick up on their people’s energy, so in order to facilitate healing, it’s good to have ‘good’ energy and a balanced mood. Some people ‘hear’ that as meaning they should try to be cheerful and upbeat in front of their pets, but that’s not what I mean at all. Here’s why that approach of putting on a happy front just doesn’t work.
Your pets can pick up on how you feel.
Your pets pick up on your moods as well as what you ‘tell’ them.
Let’s take an example.
Your pet has to go in for surgery. Before the journey to the vets you try to soothe them by telling them it will all be fine, but inside you’re a mess, you’re really nervous and worrying about the success of the operation, the risk of anaesthetic etc
The thing is that whilst your pet will pick up that you are trying to soothe them (from your words) he or she will ALSO pick up on your fears and anxieties. They can tell they’re getting mixed messages and this is stressful for them.
So, be honest about how you’re feeling.
That’s why it’s a much better approach to be honest about your feelings. In the above example, to be honest with your pet, you could tell them that whilst you trust things will work out ok you are a bit nervous too, but you do trust deep down that things will be ok. Be sure to explain to the pet WHY they need the operation and how beneficial it will be for them. And please don’t feel silly about ‘talking’ to your pets, they really do pick up on your words … and the energy behind them.
There’s also one more step.
Deal with those emotions!
Remember how I said earlier that it does help to have balanced moods, especially when your pet is healing?
It’s just so much more beneficial for them if they aren’t constantly picking up on your anxieties or worries about them – so – stop worrying! I could go on for ever about how worrying is just not productive and doesn’t help you or your pet. Trust me on that.
One of my favourite ways to help pet people deal with their worries and fears about their pets is a technique called EFT tapping. It’s ideal for weeding out uncomfortable emotions such as worry anxiety and guilt.
If you’re new to my work, I have a YouTube channel with many videos demonstrating how to use EFT tapping for your pets and your reactions to their conditions. Also, see here and below for my free video series about using EFT with your pets, it shows you how to use it for yourself too.
Try it for yourself
For example, here’s one helping you deal with guilt when you feel you did something wrong regarding your pet.
Here’s one for worrying about your pets as they get older.
Here’s one for those pre-surgery jitters.
This week’s video
In this week’s video I give some more examples of situations, from grieving the loss of a prior pet to having to spend extra time away, where it’s important to be honest and open with your pets.
This video is slightly different from normal, as it’s a recoding of a live Periscope broadcast (that’s why I say hi to people and get gooey about hearts).
Over to you
Do you find yourself trying to hide your negative emotions from your pets or do you ‘keep them in the loop’ with how you’re feeling and why?
Let me know in the comments section below. I’d love to hear your stories.
Also, please feel free to share this post with those who need this information.
Thank you.
this is good advice, ferris. animals are so sensitive to our moods and feelings that it makes sense not to confuse them with mixed emotions. long before other people realize something might be going on, pets pick up on certain vibes and begin comforting you.
Thanks April. Yes,our pets do pick up on our moods way before other people sense them, that’s so true.
Personally, I feel like this is just advice for dealing with life in general because it so perfectly applies to the people we love as much as to the animals.
Yes, absolutely Megan, that’s a very apt observation. Well said.
Lovely post. I do try to show my dog how I feel, but have never really thought about it that much. I do deeply believe that animals or pets pick up way more things than we think. Our dog always knows when we talk about her – even if we do not use her name. And she knows when I get ready to leave – or when we are going on a trip soon.
However, I think what you wrote also applies to children. While I was reading my thought kinda went to my kids … realizing that often we try to tell them “All is okay.” even though we are scared. I also always tried to be authentic with them, as I do believe that they pick up on it. But it certainly is not always easy. Your suggestions would apply just as much there. 🙂
xox
Our pets are really clever and pick up on so much, for sure Ursula.
Yes, I hadn’t realized when I posted, but it does apply for children too, so often we try to re-assure them when we don’t feel sure ourselves.
Oh, my dog is a healer… there’s no way to hide my emotions from him! He knows… and he always comes to comfort anyone in need. He puts his nose right on my heart chakra! <3
Your dog sounds like a real sweetheart Donna. The comfort they give us is precious and so healing.
What a wonderful post! Your vet trip example was perfect! Our Husky, Blue, is treated for epilepsy, and often while we try to comfort him, inside we really are a mess. Thanks for this wise advice!!
Hi April,I’m delighted you liked the post and the vet example (I also have a dedicated post and tapping video for helping your pets to be happy travellers – here).
Trust that once you’re more open with Blue and tend to your feelings about his epilepsy that dealing with it should become easier emotionally for all of you.
Sometimes I worry that I dump on my dogs because I feel like I can be completely myself with them. I have two special needs kids, and there are times when life is stressful for all of us, and when I don’t want to get upset in front of my kids or my husband, I have had moments where I lie down on the bed or the floor and one of our goldens snuggles up into my arms, and it is such a relief just to snuggle and have a cry without needing to explain it with words to anyone. I do feel like the dogs can really tell when I need a little extra love from them. And I try to be aware of when they need extra love from me too.
Hi Jen, our dogs really do accept us in each moment with whatever we are feeling, as yours so loving have shown you, by comforting you and snuggling up to you when you need that extra love <3