Navigating pet loss (with EFT tapping video)

Losing a pet is one of the hardest things we have to deal with as pet owners. The grief we face when a beloved pet dies can feel incredibly intense, even surprisingly so. Yet, when we think of the unconditional love we get from our pets, how they become our confidantes, how they become such a huge part of out daily lives, then it isn’t really surprising at all. I have had people confess to me that it was harder for them when they lost a pet than when they lost a member of their human family.

Our emotions and particularly grief over losing a pet can be triggered in many ways and through different circumstances. I have many clients who started grieving while their pets were still alive (this is called anticipatory pet loss). They worried deeply about knowing when was the right time to let them go but were also desperate to keep their friend alive and were almost unable to face their inevitable parting.

Naturally, we also grieve when out pet has died and we feel a hole or space that they once filled in our lives. We grieve when pets leave our lives for other reasons, for example if we move location and can’t take them or if we split with a partner who takes custody of that pet.

My story.

It is the last circumstance that I happen to find myself in right now. Recently, I split with my long term partner and we agreed that our beloved Sally dog was to go and live with him (she adores him more than anyone else on the planet and I knew they needed to stay together).

My ex-partner and I are sill on good terms and I still get to see Sally regularly, sometimes overnight or longer, so it isn’t an absolute loss (and I know it doesn’t compare to the anguish of situations where you know you’ll never see your pet again), but I now have that first hand experience of an over quiet house, without having that smiling, excited face to greet me enthusiastically every morning. I’m still getting used to walks alone and that feeling of having a big ‘space’ where she used to be.

I still have the cats for company (and they do a fabulous job as companions) but as anyone who loses a pet, no matter what the circumstance, knows is that there is no replacement for that special ‘one’ when they aren’t around anymore. We may get new companions that find their place in our lives and hearts, but each special friend leaves their mark and is irreplaceable.

I’m taking things a day at a time right now, enjoying the moments when she is here and getting used to the times when she is not. I also deeply appreciate the tools I have to help me through this transition and time of change.

Advice?

This is the part of the blog where I usually give some simple tips, advice and coping strategies. Well, there is no cookie cutter answer to this! Everybody’s journey is unique. Also, we can’t predict how we will feel, maybe not even from moment to moment.

The only sure fire advice I can give is to be gentle with yourself during this time. There can be grief, anger, guilt, disbelief and sadness and many emotions that may well up. Yet,  it doesn’t have to consume you and you can find ways to ease your path through it.

Get support from friends and family when you need it.  It can be really hard to deal with this alone so remember that you don’t have to.

Get professional support if you need it, from me, another EFT practitioner or counselor. Sometimes friends and family just don’t understand or friendly sympathy just isn’t enough. If this is the case, find someone who can truly support you, who can be your ally in this journey. I have seen, from helping people through this time, the immense relief and peace of mind it brings them when people actively choose to seek support.

Also, support yourself.  Use every tool and technique that you have. Do things that nurture you and help you feel good* and practice extreme self care.

My tool of choice for navigating my emotions is EFT tapping and I wanted to share with you an EFT tapalong video that can help you work through any grief that you might be feeling. My intention is that it will help take the rawness and sting out of your emotions. Please be aware that it might bring your emotions to the surface, so if you choose to tap along please be fully responsible for your own well-being.

To watch the video please click here or on the image below.

It is my belief that this can actually be a time of celebration where we can honor the relationship we had with our pet, cherish those memories and time spent together and feel the joy of the connection that we had, rather than feeling loss.

In my perspective, they don’t ‘leave’ and we don’t have to feel the ‘loss’ of them when their time with us ends, it’s just a change in the nature of our relationship with them. The physical contact and interaction is gone, but the connection remains as does the sweetness of our bond with them.

 *(Sidenote: I’ve seen clients who have felt it was wrong to want to feel good again, as if it was disrespectful to the memory of their pet to be anything other than bereft. Some were unwilling or afraid to let go of their grief in case they also lost the memories and feelings of connection they had with their pet.

If you feel that way, I encourage to imagine what your pet would want for you (imagine that they could tell you). Do you think they’d want to to sit in sorrow or do you think they might prefer you to start to embrace life again and find ways to live it wholeheartedly in every moment, just like they did?)

If you have tapped along with the video let me know about your experience in the comments below, or let me know your stories about coping with pet bereavement.

If you want my personal help dealing with grief for a pet, find out more about my services here or email me at ferris@ferrisjay.com for more information. I work with clients worldwide via skype and phone. I also have a free mini Pet Loss Survival Guide here.

Also, please feel free to share this video with those who would benefit from it.

Thank you.